June 28th 2011
Brokenness, what does that word mean to you? To me its something to be disliked, something to try to get away from, something I don’t want to deal with. I’m happy putting on a front that say “I’ve got it all together” I want to turn my eyes when I see the man flying the sign and I really hate thinking that I might very well be broken.
I don’t like pain, I don’t like thinking I’m weak, I don’t like not having it all together. I can’t take it, I can’t process it and I DO NOT want to admit it. But I must confess, I am broken, I am messed up, I have a visual disability and I hide behind my list of things I’ve accomplished. Like a coward I try my best to not let people see this, to no be vulnerable, to not be real, like letting someone know me in my true broken self would be suicide. The truth though is ever beside me, always there like a bad hair day on yearbook photo day.
Today and Tonight I’ve had many conversations about this, about my walls and about being broken and hurting and I’ve thought to myself “What if we were perfect?” What if as soon as we became Christians we became instantly Holy, we became instantly the model of perfect. Would the homeless guy on the street effect us at all? Would the news story about genocide be news to us? Would the loss of a loved one still tear us apart?
Maybe there’s a reason that God doesn’t heal our brokenness, maybe there’s a reason we still struggle with the pain of our old life long into our Christian Walks. Maybe God is on to something when he doesn’t instantly fix our “problems” overnight. A reason that God sees the need to give us “grace upon grace” because he wants us to be broken, he wants us to struggle, to become “Long Suffering”
Now I know what you’re thinking, how can a God who’s loving want us to struggle and be broken? Don’t you Christians always talk about being made whole and new through Christ? Well we do, but also through Christ we realize that the body of Christ was broken and therefore we too have an area of brokenness that we must reconcile and use for positive affirmations of faith.
The fatherless might use their brokenness to mentor younger fatherless, the widow might use her brokenness to minister to other widow’s, the disabled man might use his brokenness to reach out to another man who is disabled. We feel when we are broken, we hurt and we laugh and we cry with each other and we are blessed by this fellowship we share with one another.
Here’s what Matthew 5:9-10 says
“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.