I Am Tired

Sometimes these posts are well-thought out, well-researched pieces on topics relevant to the day or Church History. Sometimes I just have to let down the curtain and be real.

Jonathan David Faulkner

Dear Readers,

I am tired.

Not of you, not of the work that goes into this site, watching what God has done here this year has been amazing. Because of you we have broken every previous record this site ever set. I thank you for that because you keep this site running. We have had some fruitful discussions this year and I appreciate that. Thank you. Still, I am tired. Not by this site but by the constant barrage of social media and infighting that seems to define everyone and everything whether it is our current crisis or ongoing societal issues that point to decline.

I am tired of outrage culture, Christians backstabbing one another, denying the witness of Christ. I am tired of people downplaying the death toll, like 100,000 lives just do not matter, forgetting that some people are mourning while others act as though nothing matters. I am tired of seeing more stories of Black men either losing their lives or having the police called on them because of pure racism. I am tired of the excuses that get made for downright bad behavior that should not ever be excusable. I am tired of all the opinions being thrown at pastors who are just trying to do our jobs for the glory of God and look out for the safety of our congregations. I am also tired of pastors who are not doing those things, who ignore church history and its wisdom and lessons for the sake of poor theology of ecclesia. Who would put people at risk for the sake of the gospel rather than protect them? I am tired of politics and politicians, of toxicity, of immaturity. I am tired of death in every form and from everything. I am tired of accusation of fear and fights over masks. I am genuinely tired.

How long oh Lord, until Justice rolls down like water, until injustice is punished.

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy.

Social Media has become a place where we all just fight, less and less I see those fun posts that say things like: “Here is a nice kitten in case you have been feeling sad.” Social Media has become what C.S. Lewis imagined Hell to be like, everyone fighting and squabbling and getting further and further away from each other.

Don’t you feel it too? Is this the Quarantine fatigue that everyone was referring to? Or is this just where we are at as a people?

I need a break from Social Media and its new, manic depressive, environment. It is fueling both our despair and our outrage. But we have been told that this is where we interact, this is where we dwell. One of the first memes, back in the early 2010’s, “I love my computer, all my friends live there” is now stalking us. We sit in the Spector of death and instead of mourn it we do everything we can to get away.

Reader I am tired, please pray for me, please hold me up to our heavenly father. I know a vacation is coming, but in the heat of all this, I just feel the tension and pressure. I have an incredible support system and that, I know, is rare. But I am tired, and I need your prayers.

Love in Christ

Jonathan David Faulkner

2 thoughts on “I Am Tired”

  1. I know you’re tired. What is going on now in our country is spiritual warfare that should take us all to our knees and pray. It brings tears and sadness. You are always in my prayers and your posts lift me and bring wisdom into my life. When people engage me about what’s going on I tell them I’ve read the book I know the end GOD WINS. We win. Prayers for rest, peace and comfort. Take the family out for ice cream and enjoy a sunset. Luv ya God bless.

  2. Yes. Fatigue is real. Our minds are processing so much, and unfortunately it is alot of negatives, which increases the depth of fatigue.
    I don’t even want to have to think sometimes, like just turn up the volume on my music. The tiredness I’m going through is not just the covid, but then throw in my husband’s cancer which decided to rear up and get nasty again. Perfect timing…ugh. I can’t even wrap my head around the choices people are making concerning this newest tragedy in Mpls. I immediately think about this world and how it will effect my 14 yr old grandson, who shares in the black heritage. Do I go in depth and make it a big deal? Do I really press in? Or do I just take a deep breath and pray, pray that he won’t be scarred in his life.
    I’m with you Pastor in being tired, but in this life of fatigue, comes Joy, comes Blessings and comes to be my way home to Eternal Life.
    No one said it would be easy….
    Including Jesus.
    I’m praying for you my friend.

Leave a Reply